A blog can be a funny place–at the surface it’s simply a space full of pretty images, but at the core it’s a deeply personal art project, a reflection of life. Since this space has become increasingly personal for us, aside from just sharing recipes, we had been looking forward to sharing with you some joyous and life-changing news: a new baby! Unfortunately, before we were able to share, hard news has taken the place of the good. We’ve been crushed by a miscarriage this week and are cocooned up in our home dealing with the sadness. We are left with the somewhat awkward feeling of wanting to share things like beautiful risotto dishes with you, not knowing how to share this other, raw, news.
We went in for our 8-week ultrasound and while the baby measured perfectly at 8 weeks, there was no heartbeat. We were stunned. It was like something out of a movie, or a book, or a nightmare – surely not real life. Suddenly, it was just the two of us again. It’s been a tearful week, sustained by the support of our family and friends. Our heart goes out to all of you who’ve experienced this in your lives. Indescribable, unless you’ve walked it.
A thread through it all has been food, ever present in our lives. When we found out we were pregnant, Alex almost immediately downloaded several pregnancy nutrition books to learn everything possible about eating for a healthy baby. Every bite of food you eat has the possibility of turning into the little brain cells in a new life! But food is bigger than nutritional components; it’s also celebration — as we were reminded while sharing great meals at Thanksgiving along the good news with our families. And food is comfort. Getting through this week has been just a little bit easier with a gift of tasty takeout sushi, warm cups of tea, and just a few bowls of peppermint ice cream. When our lives are on the highs and lows, food is always there to enhance and enrich the moments.
We aren’t sure what’s next for our family, but we remain faithful in God’s plan for our lives. Even the few weeks we had as a potential family of three were filled with a lot of joy, confirmation that we’ll love the sharing, growing, and learning that comes with a family.
Thank you to each and every one of you for your constant support and walking through life with us. We’re so grateful for you.
xo
Sonja and Alex
